Thursday, August 20, 2009

To come into one's self

When I read or hear people say that I have come into one ( brought themselves higher) I have to say that I envy them. Why? I feel it's that they have control over their lives and they can bring themselves higher ( This struggle of day-to-day life). I never thought that bringing myself higher simply means that it is all down to me. When I say it's all down to me I mean that no one can do better for me no one can tell me that it's ok to take the journey to be more then what I feel I am. For many years I would look back on my life and see how I wasn't in control of "my" life. It was only last year that I did make the choice to stop eating meat and do more for myself and I have to say that "my" life is more controlled.

I feel that when I made the choice to do that(Bring myself higher) it was to break the chains of my family, all those years and generations of family has no control over me any more. I don't have to be in the kitchen I don't have to look forward to a man completing me. I can make the choice of completing me all by myself and I don't need money,fashion,approval or some one holding over my head that they can teach me what I already know. To come to the point of learning life's simple lessons is great and I like that fact that I did this, you know? I don't want to seem like I have an ego but I had the choice to do something to better me, even though I had laziness and other emotions of mine to hold me back I still did it and that is the best feeling in the world.

I think I will stop here because their are more things that I feel still need to be addressed and I am working on them so when I have worked on them I will let you know!!!